the little couch

the little couch- I wonder if it will always be with me- I plan for it to be- in order for you to understand any of this blog- i need to tell you about how I acquired the little couch- One day several years ago-- I was talking to my best friend, Jenn- I was telling her how I had always wanted a couch in my room--but I had never had one- I told her I wanted one that was not giant but that would be cozy and a good place to write my book and a place to pray and that the only requirements were that it had to have "country" fabric. She and I had talked about it for awhile and one day she said- why don't we just drive over to the furniture store and see if they have one that you might want-- so-- we did- my mom was with us and we found the most adorable little couch- it was pretty soft blues and green plaid with a little strip of red mixed in-- it was perfect- and it was a single sleeper- It was the only one in the store that day that didn't come with a set-- and the owner told me that they would not be ordering any more of that type soon-- my mom- being my mom said- we should definitely take this home with us!! So we did- it wasn't very expensive and it almost looked a little worn but it was wonderful to sit on and it felt so safe and cozy-- This little couch was just a small piece of me in my house-- for those of you that don't know- I didn't do any of my own decorating when I lived in the "big house"-- my husband did- he didn't like my style and he didn't want my input-- so everything (including the house) was all about him and his very extravagant taste....everything until now- I had this little couch- it was all me!! I loved it- I convinced V to let me keep it because it was a gift and he said as long as it stayed in the bedroom and out of site of visitors I could have it....I was so happy with my purchase. Proud to finally have a little bit of me in my world. Now-- this couch-- no one can really understand what it meant to me as the years progressed- it was the couch that slept on when i was sick- it was the place that I wrote lots of chapters to what I hope will one day become a book- it was where I sat with my mom when we needed to be close and not be with everyone in the house- it was the place I literally felt my heart break when my dad told me about losing my mother- it was the place my best friend and I talked about her future and her love of the young man she wanted to marry-it was where I wrote letters to my mom even after she was not with me and where I felt most comfortable when I had a serious surgery- it was the place that made me feel safe when I spent 3 months of my life fearful to be anywhere else in my own home. I am now in a new house- a house that I decorated alone- all the choices were mine and it is quite country and quaint...but- My little couch--it is old and somewhat worn now-- reminds me of "the beauty of the velveteen rabbit" and yet- it is with me-- it sits now in my kitchen- a special reading spot for me where sunlight flows in and its comfortable feel makes me know I am home-Tonight- as I sit on my little couch to put my thoughts on paper- I can't help but think about the comfortable feeling that surrounds my life in so many ways these days-- The love of a Father in Heaven that watches my every step, the joy of friends both old and new, the safe feeling of knowing I am ok in my own home, the blessing of a work family that I am so close to they feel like family. My blessings are bountiful and my heart overflows with an inner joy that I have missed for so long. I am thankful for so so much----including my little couch.